I often speak with my clients about their path out of this stinky mess into their dream life.
At the very minimum, this means creating self-sufficiency. Self-sufficiency is the foundation of your dream life. The rest of your dream life is up to your imagination. So, run with it!
Some of my clients want to create an empire.
I have one client who wants to build a sanctuary.
I have another client who is dying of cancer and wants to build her legacy.
All of us humans are the same. We all desire the same things: a lovely home, financial security, health, family and love.
The only fuel required to build this dream life is desire. Wanting something is the engine that can create it. In fact, if you want something – you should do it.
Step 1: Define what your dream life looks like
Where are you now and where do you want to be?
If you are in the thick of a high-conflict divorce, your desired destination is likely the exact opposite of where you are right now: happily divorced.
My clients are in the cesspool of litigation. Their dream life is to live financially comfortably, peacefully detached from their ex, AND have children who are thriving.
You may resist dreaming big because you are not sure if you can get there. That is why a guide or coach is critical. Everyone on a journey of transformation has a guide.
Step 2: Determine the path to get there
The second step is to figure out the action(s) needed to get there. There is always a critical path from your current place to your dream life.
Every action on this critical path entails powerfully disentangling from the ex physically, financially, legally and emotionally.
If you have been struggling to get there on your own, that is just a sign that you either don’t know the critical path, or more likely, you don’t have the skills to travel the path. You keep getting stuck along the journey. Totally normal. The guide gets you unstuck.
Step 3: Acquiring the skills to walk the path
Some people walk the divorce path from stinky start to dream life with ease. Others struggle and never get there. The dividing line between these two groups is skills.
If you have the skills to do it with ease, we don’t need to talk. If you are struggling, let me tell you that there is an easier way. There are several skills such as lawyer selection, arming your lawyer to win, communicating with a hostile ex, managing third parties involved in a custody determination, documentation, and becoming emotionally untouchable, that is the curriculum of my Sorority.
Becoming heroic is just a skill
Every step you take on the critical path to building your dream life is heroic. Heroes expect obstacles and find their way around them. That is because they have acquired the skills needed to scale those walls. Heros have conviction and determination. Heroes achieve big.
I wish for all of you to live heroically in pursuit of your dream life.