Do you ever find yourself watching the couples walking down the street hand-in-hand? Or sit at a restaurant and see a couple totally engaged in conversation, sipping a glass of champagne?
Do you have a friend who divorced and moved forward in every way – professionally, emotionally, romantically? A person who has l transformed into a happier, more productive evolved version (hint: me).
Why are some people able to have an amazing post-divorce existence when you are stuck in the trenches of divorce? What gives?
For the last 4 years, I have been coaching people through high-conflict divorce. In doing so I have discovered what keeps you stuck and how to get unstuck from your divorce.
What keeps you stuck
Most people are stuck for a few reasons:
- Fear – Specifically of poverty or their children suffering caused by a retaliating ex
- Loyalty – They spend their time making excuses for the ex’s egregious behaviour
- Delusion – They think that the ex’s behaviour is ok or that it will change
- Settling – They are ordering off a “limited menu” because thinking it’s the best they could hope for
The secret to moving from the abyss of high-conflict divorce to a delightful, prosperous existence unencumbered by a hostile ex does not require courage.
Honestly, it doesn’t!
It requires skills.
And the person who takes this journey successfully arms him/herself with a well-navigated path and the skills to overcome all obstacles, most of which I can predict for you.
The skills you need to master are not what you learned in high school. It is a highly unique curriculum and mastery will ensure that you accomplish your goals while maintaining your sanity. Here are a few skills on my divorce curriculum:
- Arming yourself with a brilliant team
- legal strategy and lawyer management
- Creating and if necessary earning a war chest to fund the battle.
- Discerning how best to spend your funds by determining if the juice is worth the squeeze.
- Becoming untouchable by knowing which threats are legit and which are designed just to make you spin (hint: most if not all).
- Parenting while side-stepping bombs
- Finding amusement in the chaos
Welcome to being human
If your feet are nailed to the ground, you are a sitting duck against a high-conflict ex.
This is the best news I have for you because these skills are accessible to anyone. All of the humans. If you have them, we don’t need to speak. If you are lacking – we do. It will never get easier than now to get unstuck from your divorce.