If you are divorcing a narcissistic ex, you better buckle up.
Without adequate armour,
you are heading onto the football field to play in the Superbowl…missing a helmet.
The 3 faces of a Narcissistic Ex
Your narcissist ex will vacillate between 3 personas to suit their agenda:
1. The Hero
This is the ex who pretends to be accommodating.
This is to woo you to believe that s/he wants what is best for you and the children.
This false kindness will derail you from your mission to disentangle and get a fair settlement.
It is an attempt to get you to hold back your lawyer.
It is a delay tactic.
But let me ask you this:
During your relationship, did you ever settle any issues with this person?
I did not think so.
Trying to pin down a narcissist is like nailing jello to the wall.
Don’t waste your time.
Don’t be fooled by the Hero like I was.
I held back my lawyer convinced that I could settle the case without acrimony.
I was wrong.
This cost me 1 year of grief, danger for my son, and tens of thousands of misplaced legal fees.
Legal fees that should have been utilized getting the guy in front of a judge.
The only person who could make him behave.
2. The Aggressor
The Hero becomes the Aggressor when they do not get their way.
When they are ordered to disclose their assets or value their business.
You will face threats of retaliation if you don’t do exactly what they demand.
This bullying behaviour is designed to shake you and pull you off your mission.
The mission of a fair settlement and appropriate parenting plan.
Welcome to the Superbowl of Divorce
This is where a coach and strong legal counsel will keep you safe and on-mission.
3. The Victim
When all else fails, the narcissistic ex will play the victim card.
They will try to convince anyone who will listen that they have been wronged.
This will include your kids, so buckle up!
Expect your kids to implore you to take mercy on your ex.
My Ex even had his girlfriend phone me to try to get me to step down.
Don’t succumb to this tactic.
You may have been a doormat during the marriage, but this is the time to find your inner Warrior.
If you have found your fierceness – go get ’em!
If not, we need to talk.
Every sporting competitor needs a coach.
Every soldier needs a commander.
Put on your equipment.
Line up your army.