March 20, 2019 Stacey Mendelson 0 Comments

When we want to get fit, I mean in amazing physical shape, we hire a personal trainer. When we want to eat better and improve our nutrition, we hire a dietician or nutritionist. When we want to furnish our house, we hire an interior designer. All of these people are experts in their niche and they serve to optimize both the process and the outcome for their clients. The same is possible for Divorce.

Getting a divorce is something we never predict when we get married. Navigating a divorce, especially a high conflict divorce or a divorce involving children, is tricky business. If you want to do your best through a difficult experience, you might want to consider a Divorce Coach.Here are some compelling reasons to hire a Divorce coach:

Navigating the unknown

During a separation your world may be turned upside down. Being in the throes of a divorce may be something you never expected and suddenly you need to figure out new living arrangements and how to pay for everything. This may also pertain to your children. There will be temporary logistics to sort out regarding custody and access until a separation agreement is determined.

Have you ever had to hire a lawyer? It is not easy to find the right counsel for your case and everyone you know will have a different opinion. A Divorce Coach can help you narrow down your choices and prepare you to interview lawyers with a synopsis of your case and the right questions to ask.

There are many “firsts” that one encounters when separating. There is the first parent-teacher interview without your ex, the first weekend without your kids around, and the first family function that you attend as a single person. For the first time you might have to manage your own finances. You might also bump into your ex-in laws in a restaurant and this can be stressful and sometimes intimidating. A divorce coach can help you anticipate and manage these situations.

Having a sounding board saves time and money

The rigours of separating will be lessened if you have a compassionate yet objective advocate to consult. A Divorce Coach has your back and during this difficult time, will help you with regards to parenting, communicating with your ex, and keeping yourself and your children safe.

A lot of crazy things may happen during the Separation process and a Divorce Coach can teach you how to document these aberrant events, keep records and understand the process so that you don’t have to waste your lawyer’s time on the phone. This is a highly cost- effective use of your money. Eventually, under a coach’s guidance, you will become a master at predicting and mitigating damaging behaviour on the part of your ex.

Legal correspondence, especially in a higher conflict divorce, can be overwhelming. A Divorce Coach will hold your hand if you are being bombarded with vexatious legal letters. You will have a sounding board to help you strategize before you consult with your lawyer. This will make your lawyer time more productive and focused.

Get tooled up emotionally

The separation and divorce process is emotionally draining and may zap your self esteem. This is not a time to retreat into depression. It is a time to fasten your seatbelt and get prepared for the road ahead. It is a time to become your bravest self.

A Divorce Coach will listen, validate and provide you with tools and exercises to find your inner warrior. This will affect how you show up for your children, and by osmosis, they too, will feel more fearless and secure. This will also affect how you manage in your lawyer’s office, in a Custody Assessment, and in court or mediation.

Coaching is different than therapy as it focuses on the present and future and does not dwell on the past. The goal of Divorce Coaching is to help a functioning adult that is in a difficult bind evolve into the strongest, healthiest version of themselves.