If you think your husband owes you more than you are legally entitled to because he was an asshole or because he cheated – you are suffering from Woe is Me Syndrome.

This is the starting place for many gals who join my Lifeline Sorority. It is a yucky place to inhabit. Living in Woe is Me Syndrome is like marinating in a pickle jar of anger, resentment and frustration. It makes it impossible to show up as a mature professional. It strains all of your friendships because your friends can’t stand the acidic marinade. And forget being a heroic parent during divorce if you are in this jar! Your kids will sniff out your victimhood… and they will be repelled. It will impair your parent-child relationship too.

By all means, you can stay there for years if you like. But the costs will be great and your settlement will suck. Because you will not be able to muster up the wisdom and ferocity to go all-in on what you need and deserve. You may think you need or deserve an apology or accountability to move forward fairly. The best news I have for you is: you don’t need any of that. To really have a great life, all you need is emotional and financial self-sufficiency.

The way out

The way out of Woe is Me Syndrome is learning to earn more than you need so you can be financially independent. It is creating unconditional self-validation and worthiness. It is learning boundaries that maintain unwavering self-respect. It is becoming untouchable when having to communicate with a high-conflict ex.

In short, the way out of Woe is Me Syndrome is to look at your poker hand like the most skilled Vegas veteran who can turn a shit hand into a serious cashout. Leave the drama behind and play your cards with fearless stealth.

This isn’t luck. This is skill, and this is exactly what I teach.